Sweet Surrender
by ihearthuxon
Summary: This goes after episode 441 when Sam has a miscarriage. She doesn't get the support she need from Stuart but she gets it from Phil. I don't like Stuart, I'm into Sam&Phil. HUXON FOREVER !
1. We Are Broken

I tried to understand why this baby had died. Was it because Stuart and I didn't want the same things? Was there a chance it knew it had to grow up with one parent? It hurt so much to lose this baby. And the only one who saw that was Phil. Not Stuart like he was suppose to.  
I came back to work after one day. The pain and the grief was still fresh. I tried not to think about it when Phil came into my office.  
"How can you be already at work after what happened?" He sounded at bit angry.  
"The last time I checked it was not your baby I lost!" She snapped back.  
From the moment the words came out of her mouth she knew she had gone too far. "Sorry Phil, I'm sorry." She tried to rescue the situation she brought them in.  
"I'm sorry I cared about you Nixon!" he said angry to her.  
Before she could say anything he had stormed out of her office leaving her alone with her feelings of guilt. She sighed and watched him walk to his desk. She know she shouldn't have said that but she was bothered with the fact that it was Phil that cared for her and not Stuart.  
She let him calm down for half an hour. She stood up and walked towards him. "Look Phil, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."  
Phil looked at her and smiled "Why are you this angry with me?" he asked carefully not wanting her to explode again. She sighed again giving herself some time to make up some excuse.  
"I think I'm still a bit in shock, that's all" she said simply.  
He looked at her and he knew she was lying. Well, she wasn't really lying but that was the wrong answer to that question. That answer belonged to another question. He knew why she was this emotional. And he couldn't stand why.


	2. Call Me When You're Sober

**Call Me When You're Sober**

He smiled at her and comforted her by saying "It's alright Sam. We're okay." Then he saw Stuart come into the room. Sam's body language changed inmediatley. It was like she froze. She faked a smile and ran back into her office. It made him angry to see her run away from Stuart. He knew she was scared from him and she had reason to be. He could feel his blood pumping through his head. "Stuart can we talk for a second?" Phil asked carefully, trying not to get angry. Stuart looked surprised but followed Phil out of the room.  
From the moment Stuart got out of the room Phil bursted out on him "Why is she going through this alone?!"  
"This is what she wanted" Stuart backfired at Phil.  
"Maybe she says that but you should know that's not true!"  
"I can't read her mind. She should be clear to me, not play games"  
Phil could feel himself getting really angry. He grabbed Stuart at his shirt and threw him hard against the wall and whispered clearly in his ear "she lost your baby and soon she will realize that was the best thing that could happen. I hope she will find out soon what kind of person you are. You don't deserve her!" He let Stuart go and walked back to his desk. He looked at Sam and smiled a bit before going back to his work.

After a day of work Phil popped in his head in Sam's office. "I'm going home. Are you okay?" Sam looked up and smiled "Yes I am, thank you. Goodnight."  
She watched him leave and wanted to focus back on her work when she heard her door going open again. She smiled and asked "Did you forgot…"  
"No I haven't!!" She was cut off by a really angry Stuart.  
Sam looked up. She was surprised that he was still here. "Why are you so angry?"  
"Why I am angry? Why does Phil almost attacks me and blames me for your pain?!"  
Sam looked down. He was always so hard and brutal. She took a deep breath and answered back "I don't blame you, but maybe you could've supported me"  
Stuart seemed to get even more angry "how was I suppose to know that?! You know I hate it when you play games with me!"  
Sam didn't liked the loudness of his voice. She got up from her chair and walked to the window. She didn't answered Stuart what made him explode.  
"Don't turn your back on me Sam !!" He yelled at her. "You wanted to go through this alone !!"  
When Sam didn't react to his anger he grabbed her at her arm and pulled her back. She fell on her desk and hurt her arm badly. She tried to get off it but he hold her back with a look in his eyes she got scared of. He took her by her troath. Sam tried to gasp for breath when he whispered in her ear "you wanted this, you will go through this alone. Losing that baby isn't my fault, I didn't carry it."  
Finally he let her go and walked out of the office and out of Sun Hill. Sam was totally in shock and didn't knew what to do. In a reflex she took her phone and called Phil.


	3. That's What You Get When You Let Your He

Phil was at home when his phone rang. He picked it up and looked at the screen. He was surprised to see that it was Sam who was calling. He picked up. "Hi Sam." His face changed i

inmediatley when he heard her voice and the fear in it. He listened a few moments and said "stay there, I will be there in a few minutes." He ran out of his house and got into his car and

drove like a maniac to the police station. He stormed in Sam's office and saw her sitting there with tears in her eyes. He walked towards her and kneeled down . "What happened?" he asked  
softly.

"It was Stuart. I thought I was here alone, but he must have been in the building too." She answered.

"Did he hurt you?" There was a bit of anger in his voice when he asked the question.

She waited before she answered his question. She didn't want him to be angry at Stuart. It would only make things worse. Her silence he took as a yes. "The bastard!" snapped Phil "what

did he do?"

"He came here because you had talked to him. He made very clear that it was my fault I lost the baby and he wouldn't support me in this." She sighed and continued "he grabbed me and

threw me on the desk and grabbed my troath and mentioned one last time that it is all my fault."

Phil stood up angry. "I will make him pay for this!" he yelled angry.

"No! You would only make this worse" Sam said, thinking of the consequences. "I shouldn't have called you. It was a mistake."

He looked at her in disbelieve "that's not true."

Sam stood up and grabbed her coat and answered a little angry "yes it was. I'm fine."

Phil walked over to her and sighed deeply. "No, you're not. Otherwise you shouldn't have called me"

Sam put on her coat and said "I said it was a mistake. I'm sorry you had to come here. Goodnight Phil"

She walked out of her office to her car. Phil stayed behind and watched her leave in disbelieve. Did she really made a mistake by calling him? Did he made a mistake by caring for her?


	4. Distance

**Distance**

Sam took inmediatley a shower when she got home. She wanted to wash the thoughts away and maybe the feeling of Stuarts hands too. She signed and tried not to cry. What had she done wrong to deserve this? She couldn't believe that she ever liked him. Now, she hated everything about him. Even the thought of him made her sick. And then there was Phil. He had always been there for her, even if she didn't want it. Maybe she had been too hard for him. But she couldn't help it. She saw in his eyes the same anger as she felted when she thought of Stuart. She couldn't stand the fact that he maybe knew her better than she did herself. Her heart stopped beating for a second. Could he know already that she was falling for him? Maybe she had to take some distance from him. That would make the feelings go away. She wrapped herself into a towel and want to the bedroom. She chose a simple sweater and trouser and putted it on. She went to the living room and poured some wine into a glass and climbed in the sofa. She sipped of her wine. The thought of sending Phil a text message almost made her come out of the sofa but then she remembered the deal she made with herself. She had to take some distance from him.

The following days Sam mostly tried to avoid Phil. She sand him out on missions and when he was in the building she stayed in her office. She tried not to talk to him and when she had to, she tried to be a short as possible. It was hard for her, but she believed it was the best for the both of them.  
Stuart eased up on her. He even was nice to her. And she was nice to him, no matter how hard she wanted him to be Phil. When she was alone he was the only thing she could think of. Trying to avoid him had only made her think even more about him. Now, he has conquered a place in her heart and she tried so hard to deny it to herself. She didn't want to love him, she didn't want to think about him. She tried so hard not to fall in love that she has fallen for him like a plane out of the sky. He had conquered her completely and he didn't even knew it.

After a week off denial Phil stormed into her office. "What are you doing?"

"She looked up, trying not to look in his eyes, and answered so emotionless as could be "what do you mean Hunter?"

"Why do I get every mission that accuires to leave this building? And why do you avoid me when I am in the building?"

She felt busted but tried not to show. "I don't know what you mean."

"That's bullshit Sam, and you know it."

Sam sighed. She didn't know what to answer to this so she kept her silence. Phil came closer and her breathing got faster. He must have noticed something because he asked "what's wrong Sam?"

"Nothing. No, nothing. Why should there be something?" she answered quickly.

Phil looked at her and she could do nothing else then look back. She inmediatley felt her resistance falling. His eyes were like rivers where she easily could drown in. She sighed and looked away. Phil sighed too.

"Sam, I want to know what's going on. Why you've been avoiding me for the last week and why you don't talk to me anymore." Phil looked at her with concern in his eyes. He really wanted to know what was happening. He wanted to know why she was acting like she was. He wanted her to be around. He wanted to hear her voice and hear her laughing. He wanted to be able to love her.


	5. It Must Have Been Love

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**It Must Have Been Love**

Sam sighed. How was she going to explain this to him? She decided she was not going to tell him what this was all about. Is she did that, she easily could tell him that she loved him. Sam looked at him and began "Phil, I wasn't avoiding you. I must have been a coincidence. There's nothing wrong."

Phil looked at her with concern in his eyes. For a moment she was scared he wouldn't believe her. And then he laughed at her. She sighed again and laughed back.

Phil took a large breath and put his hand on hers. Sam looked at their hands and felt a tingling feeling going through her body where he touched her hand. "Do you want to go for a drink this night? Just me and you?" Phil asked insecure.

Sam relaxed. For a moment it seemed more than it actually was. "I would love that" she answered, trying not to sound too excited.

"I will come for you after my work is done."

Sam knotted her head. "That's fine by me." She gave him the sweetest smile he had ever seen. The butterflies in his stomach went crazy. He went back to his desk leaving her alone at hers.

The rest of the day they both struggled with keeping concentrated at their work. They both were glad when their work finally got done.

"Are you done working?" Phil asked inpatient.

"Just a second" she answered slowly "almost…done." She smiled at him as she got up and grabbed her coat.

Phil smiled and said "one day you're going to die from working so much."

"Where do you want to go?" she asked avoiding his comment.

"I don't know, something quiet."

"It was your idea, you may choose" she laughed, glad she didn't had to pick something out.

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Phil took her to a little bar and ordered a beer and a white wine for them.

Sam looked around "it's nice inhere. Never thought this would be something you came."

Phil smiled "I'm full of suprises."

Sam smiled back at him "I never noticed that" she answered mysterious.

Phil's face became serious again and he took a sip from his beer. He looked at her while she took a small sip from her wine. He put his hand on hers and asked concerned "how are you?"

She smiled, taking another sip from her wine and answered "good. I'm good."

Phil looked into her eyes, feeling the butterflies going crazy for the second time today. "No, really, I mean, how are you?"

The smile came of her face and she answered, carefully, "I'm better now, thanks to that someone that's always around for me. Even if I didn't want it."

Phil took her hand into his and stroke her hand with his thumb. Sam smiled at him, pinching his hand softly. He came closer as the space between their lips got smaller. Sam closed her eyes as their lips brushed on to each other. Sam pulled away first and sighed, she didn't want to enjoy that feeling. She didn't want to fall completely for him. But then again, maybe she already has. She grabbed her coat and headed outside leaving Phil behind.  
Outside she took a few deep breaths. Why had she run away? This was what she wanted. Now, she had blown it. She had blown her one chance to be with him.  
She looked up to the sky when she felt something cold on her cheek and saw it started snowing. A cold breeze hit her but that wasn't the reason her heart stopped beating for a second. It was the feeling of his warm hand in hers, pulling her closer. He whispered "I love you" before he kissed her again.

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	6. Love's Divine

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**Love's Divine**

Those three words gave her a feeling she hadn't had got in a very long time. He took her home to his place. He opened the door en pushed her gently inside by her waist. He laid a hand in her neck and pulled her closer. She kissed him and he deepened the kiss. At first they were careful but then the passion raged up inside of them. Phil moved his hands over her body and started unbuttoning her shirt. She did the same to his shirt.  
He took her to his bedroom and the whole way they kissed each other hungrily. Their clothes laying spread all over his house. In the bedroom he laid her down on his bed and kissed her again. She immediately deepened the kiss…

Phil felt how her skin was moist. He took that as a good sign. He pulled the blanket over them and kissed her forehead. He heard how her breathing slowly got steady, like his own. He could tell by the way she was breathing she was falling asleep. He soon followed her example.

Sam woke up in the middle of the night. She didn't knew where she was. It took her seconds to remember what happened last night, and with who. She looked at him and saw that he was sleeping like a baby. Impulsively she wanted to grab her clothes and disappear into the night. But then she thought about why she should do that. She laid her head into his chest and felt his fingers going through her hair. She smiled, he always found a way to deceive her.

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	7. All Or Nothing

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**All Or Nothing**

The next morning Sam woke up and saw that they were still laying like the night before. She turned around and looked at Phil. She was surprised to see him awake.

He smiled at her, "hi" he quietly said.

Sam smiled back. "How long have you been awake?"

"Just a few minutes."

Sam pulled the blanket up to her chin. "Did you like what you saw?"

"You are gorgeous when you're asleep."

Sam smiled embarrassed. She immediately regretted doing that. He would give her a hard time when he saw her cheeks turn red.

"You are so sweet when you are ashamed." Phil had noticed it and laughed at her.

Sam look at him and answered in this feisty way of hers "I don't do sweet."

Phil even laughed harder. He pulled her back when she wanted to climb out of his bed. "Miss Nixon, where are you going?"

"I need to go to the toilet." She answered while she climbed out of his bed for the second time.

Before she closed the door of the bathroom she heard him yelling "don't stay away too long, I already miss you."

Sam sighed. His declaration from the night before has thrown her completely off guard. Did he mean it or was it another trick of his. He really wanted to know it before she could give  
herself to him.

She took a few seconds for herself and then she headed back to the bedroom. She couldn't help it and smiled at him when she saw him laying there in bed.

He immediately felt her presence and turned around. "Hi sexy."

Sam only laughed. "We need to go to work." She said professionally.

Phil groaned. "You always want to work" he complained.

"No, I don't. But there is work that has to be done."

Phil looked at her and wished she loved him as much as she loved her job.

They both got dressed and after a cup of coffee they headed to the police station. In the car Sam looked at him. Phil turned his head and asked "what's wrong?"

She smiled softly to him and answered "can you not tell everybody what happened between us?"

Phil looked at her seriously. "Do you mean everybody or just Stuart?" he asked her with a mean undertone in his voice.

Sam looked outside and thought about his question. What was she afraid of? Of her friends finding out she slept with Phil or Stuart finding out that she slept with him?


	8. Secret

**Secrets**

The rest of the road Samantha didn't said anything to Phil. And Phil didn't said anything to her. She tried to figure out the answer to his last question. It didn't took her long to find an answer.

She was afraid that Stuart would found out she slept with Phil. Stuart would be so angry. She never would forget the last time he was angry, she could still felt his hands on her body.

At the station she tried so hard to avoid Stuart, not that he knew something, but she was afraid she might let something slip out.

Especially when Phil came into her office she was feeling nervously. She hoped Stuart wouldn't noticed the fact that Phil lately was a lot in her office. Phil noticed her nervousity.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, should there be something?"

Phil raised his eyebrows. "You are nervous."

Samantha laughed a little. "No I'm not. I'm fine."

"You always say you are fine. Even when you are not. So what's wrong?"

Samantha signed deep. Why wouldn't he believe her? She saw Stuart looking her way and saw Phil saw it too.

"Oh, now I get it!" he said with an angry undertone in his voice. "You are still not over him!"

Samantha jumped out of her chair. "Yes I am. I have nothing to do with him!"

"Then why are you so afraid of him finding out about us?!"

Samantha got angry and snapped. "Because he hates you and because the relationship with him was barely finished when I slept with you!!"

Phil looked at her very closely. "Do you regret having sex with me?"

Samantha took a few seconds to calm down. "I'm not."

Phil smiled and put his hand on her hand. "Then relax. You have the right to start over again with someone else."

Samantha only knotted her head.

Phil rubbed with his thumb her hand. "Will I see you tonight?"

Samantha smiled at him. "Ofcourse you will."

Phil walked out of her office, leaving her behind with new thoughts.

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	9. Never Be The Same Again

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This is the last chapter of my first story. I hope you guys liked it. Idea's and thoughts are always welcome. I only want to get better. Thanks for all the kind reviews.

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**Never Be The Same Again**

Samantha watched Phil walk out of her office. And she saw Stuart too. She broke the eye contact between her and Stuart. She didn't want to talk to him or even look at him. He hurt her so much. She couldn't describe the pain he caused her. Maybe deep inside she hated him. When she saw him coming towards her office she sighed. She was ready for a lot of new drama coming from him.

"So, now you are sleeping with Hunter?"  
Sam didn't looked up, he didn't deserved her looked at him, and answered calm "Non of your business."  
"Are you?" His voice got more angry and aggressive.  
Samantha decided to tell him the truth. She didn't want the drama and him telling her what to do. She stood up, took a deep breath and answered with as much determination as she could have "Yes, yes I am. And he is so much better for me than you ever were. He loves me in a way you can only imagine. I am so much better off with him than I ever was with you." She never raised her voice, she never looked at him angry.  
She could see something change in his eyes. He said nothing and left her office. She knew she would never face him again.  
From a distant she watched him packing his stuff. When he left she didn't took the effort to wish him the best, she was happy he finally was out of her life.

"Hunter."  
"Baby, it's me. He left."  
She only said those two word but he knew what she meant.  
"See you tonight at my place." He said determinate to be everything she ever needed.  
Samantha laughed and answered "of course, you'll see me. I'm yours, forever."

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**For the last time are reviews still loved =)  
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